Item #177 on my list of Things That Make My Heart Leap Into My Throat:

That would be the 24th mile marker of the Rochester Marathon that is now three weeks away.  THREE! WEEKS! Seeing that freshly spray painted “24″ on the marathon course during a bike ride today made me gasp and cover my mouth with my hand whilst laying my other arm across my forehead before pretending to faint.

Holy.  Crap.  They have marked the miles for the race.  We are that close.

Yes, that bright orange, yet-to-be-faded by the weather or bipeds or Godzillas was my cold, harsh reminder of just how close the marathon is now.  I’ll probably be doing the exact same thing with my mouth, hand and arm in three weeks too.  Except maybe the fainting thing will be real then.

Be scared.

Yup!  No problem!  I am scared.  I admit it.  And I feel as though I shouldn’t be!  I’ve run a marathon before after all.  I’ve trained the same way this time.  I did it once, I can do it again, right?  But what if I can’t? I know all too well how freaking sucky it gets at the end. I remember how much my legs hurt.  I’ll never forget wondering how on earth I was managing to move forward despite a pair of legs that felt like over cooked summer squash. I know I promised myself right around that very same mile marker two years ago that I was never, ever going to do this again.

This is when I think about the fact that marathon running is a lot like child birth. It feels really long. It is not easy. There’s a lot of build up and preparation. A lot of swearing and sweating and grunting and crying. A lot of saying that you are never, ever going to do this again. But then before you know it, it’s a couple of years later and you’re holding another positive home pregnancy test in your hand or you’re mailing in the registration form with your check, and in both instances thinking “what the hell did I just do?”

But do it anyway.

So it’s ok be scared, but you still have to do those things that scare you. That’s how change happens. When you do the things that scare you, you give yourself the opportunity to succeed. Sure, you give yourself the opportunity to fail too, but how awesome is that?  Failure is good.  Failure is how you figure it out.  And even when you fail, chances are you’ll have at least a few small successes along the way too.  And it’s those small successes along with some big ones that eventually begin to add up.  Before you know it, you’ve got something much bigger and something very real in front of you; a change in the way you perceive who you are and what you are capable of.

You don’t change your self image in one moment of feeling good about yourself. It’s a compilation of all your successes, both big and small, that start to make a difference in the way you see yourself and allow you to move toward becoming that person that you want to be.  Nothing builds success like success.  Succeed at one thing, and suddenly you’ve got the courage to try something else, something that at one time probably seemed impossibly scary.  But that’s when you run your fingers through the hair of Fear and grab a hold of those nappy roots to look Fear straight in the face.  That’s when you really begin.

So begin already, would ya?

Start small.  Go for a walk and run just a little.  Do one push up.  Or ten.  Run a 5K.  Run another marathon.  Write a post like this for crying out loud!  Do I even know what the hell I’m talking about here?  Do I sound like an idiot?  Maybe.  Probably!  But how else am I going to figure out what works and what doesn’t in this tiny plot of cyber real estate of mine?  How else am I going to figure out what I enjoy writing about and what I don’t?  All I can do is be honest and be myself and share what works for me and hope it might work for you too.  So that’s what I do – scary or not.  Put it out there, risk failure, adjust course as needed and then keep going with some new knowledge to come along with me for the ride.

Nike was right.

So just do it.  Do something.  Do anything!  And it’s ok to be afraid.  Spray painted numbers are pretty scary after all, as are positive home pregnancy tests.  One of those I plan to plow right over in three weeks, the other would surely make me faint.  That would be #154 on my list of things that make my heart leap into my throat.  In fact, let’s not even go there.  Too scary.

• Lost Something? I’ll Find It.
• Home Field Advantage
• Everywhere You Look

For those of you following along, I read Born to Run a few weeks ago.  This book was awesome and continues to have a strong influence on my running life as of late.  Much of the book is about these ultra-marathoners who run this insane, 100 mile race through the Rocky Mountains in Leadville, Colorado.  One of the runners featured in this story had the bright idea to do his training for the race on the actual course itself.  And what do you know – he ended up setting a new course record that year.

Do you know what I think of that?

I think that is Pure.  Genius.

Racing can be as much of a mind game as it is a physical one, and boy do I know an awesome idea when when I steal one.  It just so happens that our new city residence is about one mile from the last 1/5th of the marathon course – the marathon that I plan to run 7 weeks from today.  And while until now I’ve been doing most of my running through my neighborhood streets, I’ve come to realize it’s time to get my ass on the course and take advantage of my serendipitously strategic living quarters.

I want to be mentally prepared for the end.  I want to triumph over those last 6 miles instead of fighting the urge to just lay down on the side of the road and take a little nap like I wanted to last time.  And while of course I’m gonna have to do a bit of running to get there, the mental prep I can begin to do now is invaluable too.

When I ran this race two years ago, I didn’t know the area at all.  What I saw around every turn was a surprise.  But now, the tables have turned!  I’m getting to know every twist and hill and pot hole like the back of my hand.  I really want those last 6 miles to suck as little as possible.  I want to breeze by people at mile 22 and say “what?  this old path?  oh I run here all the tiiiiiimmmeee.  this is like any other ordinary run for me!  why on earth are you looking so tired?”

I also figure it will be good to know which bushes are best to duck into to when these people are ready to bitch slap me.  And I want to know the best place to stash a first aid kit to bandage up the gash in my cheek when that last line comes back to bite me in the ass on September 12th, 2010.

I’m not just running on the course though, I’m riding it too.  I rode the entire course a few weeks ago and at about Mile 9 I started to realize that “dang. 26.2 miles is far.  what the hell am I thinking?”  What am I thinking? I’m thinking I’m gonna know these 26.2 miles well, that’s what!

If I might now go on record and state my various goals for this race, they would be, in no particular order:

1.  Finish the race in an upright position.  Smile optional.

2.  Beat Alison circa 2008: come in under 4:14:59

3.  Hit the goal of Alison circa 2008: finish in under 4:00

4.  Qualify for the Boston Marathon: 3:40:59

If I were a betting gal, I’d wager on coming in some where between Goal #2 and Goal #3.  Given this Less is More Marathon Training Program touts “running your best marathon ever”, I really want to believe I can beat Alison circa 2008.  Alison of 2008 was a couple years younger of course, weighed about 8 lbs or so less I think, but! was also less experienced and was a little more flighty too if I might say so.  She also had to run the race on a very hot and humid day and therefore walked more than she expected at the end.  Fingers crossed for more cooperative weather this year, and maybe even a mild stomach bug the week before to help drop a little excess baggage.

So what do you think, Alison 2010?

Well, I think we can take her!  I also think #4 is a long shot this year without a really strong tail wind or a really good short cut.

Wait.  A short cut?  That is exactly what I should be looking for here!  Pure!  Genius!

• Scary, Scary, Quite Contrary
• A Girl’s Best Friend
• Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

I’m officially stocked up on things to blog about!

First things first! On Sunday I took my camera along with me on an overcast and very-mild-for-January morning run.

I took a punk along with me too.

Who wants to come along on a 5 mile run through my new neighborhood? Well, you don’t have a choice. Get your sneakers on. It’s time to go.

Our first landmark would be what is currently my most favorite thing to run over in the whole wide world. A pedestrian bridge that crosses the river that divides the city in half.

Why I take so much pleasure from running over a pedestrian bridge I’ll never know – but I love it, I do!

(Pictures are more fun with people in them so expect to see my running friend Shawn a lot during this post.)

Over the river.

To the river path that also happens to run along a college campus.

A glimpse of downtown from the path.

Getting closer…

I should let you in on a secret goal I have in life: to be able to do a cartwheel even when I’m 100 years old.

30 years and going strong! 70 years to go.

After the river path, it’s time to break into the cemetery though a broken spot in the wrought iron fence.

Dude, you ran right by it!

The only problem with taking my camera with me on this run was that Shawn would run up ahead while I stopped for my mid-run photo shoots, and then I would have to bust ass to catch up with him. Ah well, probably a good thing really, especially given I haven’t done speed work in ages.

Spooky!

Don’t just lay there, get up and run with us!

Through the cemetery. (And figuring out to just take pictures while I’m running.)

Back across the river.

To stop and admire some graffiti.

Why does this come as no surprise that this very cryptic message was spray painted on by men? I certainly can’t imagine a group of women spray painting “BALLS” under a bridge. “KITTENS”? Probably not. “DIAMONDS”? Maybe. “CHOCOLATE”? Getting closer now.

There! 5 miles! Done! That wasn’t so bad now was it? We were only gone about 45 minutes, and it seemed to go by like the scroll of a mouse wheel, didn’t it?

Next on today’s bloggy agenda would the awesome care package that arrived via United States Postal Service from my boyfriend Brendan Brazier yesterday!

OK, maybe not from BB himself, but a girl can still dream.

I need to give a big shout out and thank you to my girl Kelly at Sequel Naturals for offering to hook me up with Brendan’s latest book, Thrive Fitness. I’m so excited to read and review this book!

In case you missed it, I happened to love Brendan’s book Thrive. The changes I made in my diet thanks to everything I learned in his first book have made such a difference in my life. Thrive gave me the information I needed to make adjustments in my approach to eating which in turn has given me more energy in general, has allowed me to sleep better, and made my runs and workouts feel positively amazing – I can’t wait to see what Brendan’s training program and book dedicated to fitness has to offer!

This happens to the perfect segue into Blog Worthy Item #3:

I realized this weekend that the half marathon I plan to run in April is now less than 12 weeks away! Considering the training program I used last time is 12 weeks long, I guess that means it’s time to start thinking about training? Ugh. I’m not ready yet. The Sunday long runs don’t start getting longer for another 5 weeks, but still. If I hope to beat my previous half marathon time of 1:47, I’ve got to get back to doing long runs and speed work too. Speed work is so much easier in the summer! Or at the very least, on a treadmill.

Well, it’s not anywhere near summer and I don’t have a treadmill or even a gym membership, so I’m going to have to figure something out. I’m probably going to have suck it up and run fast outside. In the cold. Joy to the world.

Runners! Do you do speed work outside in the winter? (And if you live in a warm climate, your comment doesn’t count!) Does it suck as much as I imagine it’s going to? Maybe I’ll be surprised and sucking in cold, frozen air fast and hard will be petting a kitten? Putting on a diamond necklace? Eating chocolate? No?

• Half Marathon Race Recap
• Turn It Up
• Secret Goals