Recently, the girls spent the day with my mom and my step father. My step dad happens to be named Dave, and Ava and Maxine affectionately call him “GrandDave”.
Ava loves all things volcanoes these days, and after watching a volcano movie at Granny and GrandDave’s house during their visit (yes, they still get to watch TV at other people’s houses!) a little discussion about volcano safety ensued between Ava and GrandDave:
Ava: When a volcano erupts, the lava goes real fast and you have to run real fast to get out of the way of the lava flow. Sometimes you can’t run fast enough and you die.
GrandDave: I would help you get away. If a volcano ever erupts, you call me up and I’ll jump in my truck and come get you and drive you away from the volcano real fast.
Ava: Umm GrandDave… You don’t have my car seat in your truck.
So admittedly, I’ve been doing very little cooking in recent weeks, this last week in particular. I feel like I’m just now getting my bearings in this new kitchen. I’ve been busy finding a place for everything, trying to figure out what’s going to work, what’s not, what I need and what I don’t, what can be donated, thrown away or put into storage to be dug out as needed all while wondering where the hell all this crap came from in the first place.
This would be why I haven’t been writing much about new recipes or foods I’m trying lately – there are no new recipes or foods to speak of. I beg for forgiveness as I veer wildly off course for a short while here.
Ready to veer?
While packing and unpacking, Zak uncovered the fish bowl – the same fish bowl we used to house our monarch caterpillar this summer actually. Thinking back on how that ended and the fate of our poor little caterpillar, we probably should have seen this coming.
Take note, this is a bit of very obvious foreshadowing.
At one point after Christmas, a conversation went down between Zak and the girls that ended with the promise of some fish to fill the aforementioned fish bowl. I absolutely would have vetoed this decision had I been there to cast my vote. In my mind fish = a dirty fish bowl = one more thing I have to clean. The only way he got me to agree to fish before they walked out the door to the pet store was by signing an affidavit stating that I would never have to clean a fish bowl and that he and the girls would take care of everything.
Fine. Sign here and then you can go get your fish.
Did you know that at Petco fish come with a 15 day warranty? True story. Just bring back your dead fish and a sample of the water and they’ll scoop another one out of the tank for you, no questions asked.
(More foreshadowing.)
So on Sunday they got fish. Two fish to be exact, one for each of them. And then on Monday morning when I was on the phone with the phone company trying to figure out why our internet is still not working (this post would be brought to you by some neighbor we’ve yet to meet named “Ruth” who very fortunately has her wireless network wide open. Thank you Ruth for unknowingly keeping me sane until the phone company gets their act in gear) and at that exact same time as luck with have it (or unlucky, if you are a fish) Zak was on a work call – therefore leaving the girls relatively unattended with new fish and a brand new container of fish food.
Do you see where this is going? Let’s just say that on Tuesday, Goldie wasn’t looking too hot. She was spending an awful lot of time at the top of the fish bowl last night. I think we better just jump right to the punch here and reveal what we woke up to first thing this morning, shall we?
As Maxine pointed out in the video, we don’t have nets. So I went down to the kitchen to scrounge around and came back upstairs with the best thing I could to find to scoop out our poor little fish.
A 1/3 c measure.
Ava showed Maxine and suddenly it started to sink in.
Uh oh.
Oh no.
Oh no oh no oh no no no no no put the camera down you stupid woman and comfort your child!
OK – let’s not go there. Cheesecake for comfort! Are you sad? Here! Feel better! Eat something sweet!
Why is that the first thing that comes to mind? Although come to think of it, how many times did I whip out my boob to nurse this child when she was sad or hurt or frustrated or bored? Is it any wonder we use food to make ourselves feel better? It’s practically built in and ingrained into us from Day 1!
Comfort food musings aside, after putting the camera down and saying good bye, we skipped the visit to the fridge and headed for the couch instead to spend 20 minutes crying about fish and talking about what we believe happens after someone dies. These things happen. It’s OK to be sad and mourn the loss of our little friend. He was a good fish and he was probably sick before he even came home to us (back peddle! back peddle! I didn’t expect her to be so sad! Quick QUICK turn this ship around QUICK!) and he’s not sick or suffering anymore.
Why don’t these kids come with a manual? Did yours come with a manual? Check the index for me, is there a section on Dead Fish?
A few more tears and lots of hugs instead of rich desserts, I think we’ve all recovered from our fishy incident that greeted us with the rising sun this morning.
And no, we are not going to take Petco up on their offer for a replacement fish. Obviously. Goldie is in a better place now and therefore long gone. Instead we’ll allow what’s left of the fish food to last 50% longer than it would have otherwise.
Well why don’t you just make yourself at home Hissy?
Hissy has in fact made herself at home, I happened upon her last night in the bathroom hanging out on the sink.
A little snake charming last night, a little charming pre-run snack this morning.
Why do dates look so creepy when you cut into them? And then to top it all off – it coughs up this gigantic bug-like pit! This is a cruel joke of nature if you ask me. Here! Eat this thing that looks disgusting but tastes unbelievable! Try it – it’s good, I promise! Just don’t look at it.
I had plans to run with my running bud Shawn today and it’s a good thing because I was not at ALL in the mood to run this morning. Glad to have someone I’ve made plans with on days like that.
He showed up around 9 and we warmed up by running the mile to the track. He’s been pestering me for a while to do a “fast mile” – basically run one mile as fast as we can. That’s what was on tap for today. After some stretching we each ran our own fast mile – meaning we each ran at our own pace 4 times around the outdoor track.
He ran his mile in 5:56, I ran mine in 6:52. I think that’s probably my PR for a mile, and is definitely not a pace I could have held on to much beyond a mile. It does make me want to believe a sub-20 5K might be a realistic goal with more speed work!
To summarize, that mile totally sucked, but I felt really good when it was over. I’m glad to have a benchmark though so I can see improvement (or lack there of) with more training.
We ran 3 more miles back to the house and ended with a grand total of about 5 miles in 40 minutes.
This mornings run was COLD – only hot oatmeal sounded good for breakfast this morning. Except it was 11 by the time I was finally getting around to making breakfast, so maybe this was lunch?
1/2 c unsweetened vanilla hemp milk, 1/2 c water, half sliced bananas brought to boil.
Once the water started to boil I added a half cup of rolled oats, a pinch of raisins and walnuts and a dash of cinnamon. Cook and stir regularly for 5 minutes, covered and let sit for 2 – 3 minutes before serving.
Topped with slices from the other half of the banana.
Hissy has been quite the hit around here – tune in to see a Hissy introduction!
And yes, that is Maxine saying “Oh my GOD” at the end over and over. I’m a fabulous role model.
I ran to the soothing sounds of having New Moon read to me. Finally! Someone who reads to me!
I set out to run 5 miles and was back in about 40 minutes. I was ready to be done running but not ready to head back inside yet so I hopped on my bike for a 20 minute cool down ride and took advantage of the opportunity for a slightly longer work out today.
Home in time to be joined by a one armed carrot for lunch.
What do you call an elephant with a carrot stuffed in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
I’m sorry. I googled one armed carrot jokes but I got nothing.
At least the next person who googles “One Armed Carrot Jokes” should wind up here. Too bad I’ve got nothing. FOOLED YOU!
(If you are reading this post because you googled one armed carrot jokes, please report back with any good one armed carrot jokes you come up with so I’ve got one for next time.)
Moving on.
After listening to the sound of a one armed carrot clapping I enjoyed a giant salad and sound of Jillan yelling.
Oh Jillian how I’ve missed you!
The phone rang tonight during bathtime and it was Zachary Green Juice Lover calling to report his motorcycle was out of juice and he needed to be rescued. I pulled my two prunes out of the tub and off we went on a rescue mission.
Can you make out Zak in that pic? Are you making out with my husband?? *slap slap slap*
Words from the Weeds on the car ride to save dad?
Ava: Look! A wishing star! I wish I was a princess who never burped or farted! Isn’t that a good wish, mom?
Why yes, that is a good wish. I can’t say I haven’t wished that one myself. For both of us.
After rescuing the man I rescued the leftovers. Can we say bean soup and hummus? I think I just did.
Do you like that bite missing from the hummus on Ezekiel toast? Are you admiring how perfect my bite is? Two years of orthodontia baby! All leading up to this moment. You can thank my mom and dad in the comments for that.
It’s late and I’m feeling punchy (in case you couldn’t tell) from googling one armed carrot jokes and rescuing men and leftovers and wishing I was burpless fart free princess. I’m wishing that for you tonight too. You’re welcome.
January 27, 2010 | Posted by Alison 
Categories: Just Kids | 
Tags: kids say the darndest things | 
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