Lately I’ve been keeping an eye out for grain free, sugar free breakfast ideas.  Thanks to The Primal Blueprint, I’ve been feeling this urge to put a little space between me and my typical breakfast of champi-oats.

Ask and apparently you shall receive!  Didn’t a recipe for a bitter chocolate pumpkin cake land in my virtual lap?  I saw it here first at Heather Eats Almond Butter and then clicky clicked my way over to a Spoonful of Sugar Free for the original recipe for this wonder of sugarless, no grain, breakfast wonders.

I upped the amount of pumpkin to a half cup vs. two spoonfuls – which therefore meant increasing the cooking time an additional 10 minutes – but it also meant an increase in eating time too.

It sure looks like a big giant cookie/cake/brownie, wouldn’t you agree?  (OK I guess it looks like something else too.)

It even SMELLS like that when it’s baking too!  (Smells like chocolate cake that is, not like that “something else”.)

Except, ummm.  Be warned: this is not a breakfast for the faint of heart.

You remember I said “sugarless”, right?  OK good, because it is definitely a bitter pile of chocolaty, pumpkiny goodness.  But me and my sugar evading self is all over this like stink on a pile of that something else.

The fellow members of my household?  Not so much.

When the bravest child here sampled a bite – she froze, bugged out her eyes and refused to pull her tongue back into her mouth as she nearly hyperventilated and squawked and ran to nearest sink to immediately rid herself of the bitter mass that was invading her taste buds.

I tried to tell you kid!

When the man who lives here tried it, he said “Why would you do that to yourself!?”

These fools don’t know what they’re missing!  All the more for me then!  And really, this is all part of my master plan anyway – make good stuff that I don’t have to share.

My reason for making this un-sweet but still rich breakfast every day this week is three fold:

1.) I am positively delighted to turn the oven on first thing as we continue to endure these dark, cold ass mornings.

Especially after slugging out a pre-dawn 4.5 mile run through snow filled streets.

2.) Vegetables for breakfast rock my world.

3.)  Any new vehicle for almond butter will be driven right off the lot and straight into my mouth.

I will admit that a nut butter or savory topping of some sort is a necessary addition to this brown breakfast mound – but rest assured, at less than 200 calories (before topping) I am knee deep in a new breakfast phase and totally digging it.

Item #2 on the blogenda today:

Have I ever mentioned that we have a bird?

No, I don’t think I have.

Well, it’s true.  We do.  We have a love bird as a matter of fact.

A love bird that loves to do three things:

1.  Escape his cage despite clothes pins that are meant to keep cage doors closed.

2. Shred paper for a nest while I’m upstairs putting away laundry and vacuuming under beds – gleefully unaware that he’s escaped his cage like Houdini.

This is what I get for vacuuming under beds.

3.  Make library late fees seem like peanuts.

While I do still love to Shred, this is not exactly what I was talking about, Bird.

Dear Library,

My bird ate our homeschool homework.  I am still shaking my head in disbelief, feel disappointment toward wooden clothes pins and fully intend to pay for the disembowelment of this book.

Yours,

M. Weeds

Random Item #3:

When I go to the grocery store, I entertain myself in the check out line by:

1.  Taking pictures of the things I’m about to purchase in case I might some day need it for the third item in a post that’s supposed to be about three things.

Like today.

2.  Wonder what people would think if I grabbed a pair of those fingernail clippers and started cutting my fingernails in line.

3.  And then threw that pair of fingernail clippers back into the pile when I was done.

You know, if Mark Sisson told me to do that, I probably would.