I’m a (Finger) Felon

November 9th, 2010 | Posted by Alison Spath in Life

Alternate post titles also considered this evening:

Option 1: Paging Dr. Weeds
Option 2: You Have GOT to be Kidding Me
Option 3: (Don’t) Pull My Finger

Finger Felon

Do you see how the tip of my left index finger looks a little large and in charge there?  It is swollen and although it looks pretty innocent, let me tell you – it hurts. Like, bump-it-just-right-and-I-feel-like-I-might-puke kind of pain. Pain that had me out of bed and googling “swollen, painful finger tip” at 4 AM on Monday morning.  (See Post Title Option #2 above.)

It started a week ago I think, and at first was more of a nuisance than anything else. You know… like, a little throbbing during downward dog, holding my finger out of the way as I load the dishwasher, using my pinkie to pick my nose. Unfortunately though, it has gotten progressively worse with each passing day and has now gotten to the point where it can no longer be ignored.

So I saw my primary care physician yesterday who, after unsuccessfully attempting to aspirate the hard lump deep within my finger pad with a syringe reminiscent of something someone might spear Moby Dick with, sent me to an orthopedic surgeon today. (See Post Title Option #2 again.)

My Google self-diagnosis on Monday morning? (See Post Title Option #1). A felon. This was confirmed today by Dr. Orthopedic Surgeon who almost a little too eagerly gave me the news that my finger has to be sliced opened from tip to first knuckle and drained first thing on Thursday morning.

And then when I half-jokingly asked if I could still run, he half-gleefully told me “not for two weeks.” (Post Title Option #2 one more time.)

“The wound will be have to be left open so it can drain.  No sweating for two weeks.”


The good news? It’s my left hand. (Insert the obvious “I’m right handed” here.)

The bad news? It’s not my middle finger.

Cause if it was my middle finger, I could show people exactly what I think about all this.  Maybe I’ll just hold up my middle finger and say “It’s the finger next to this one that hurts!” You can see Post Title Option #3 now.

(If you want to know how it all turned out, go here.)

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14 Responses

  • Fallon says:

    Wow that is crazy! Did you find out why something like this can happen out of no where?

    • Alison says:

      apparently this can just spontaneously occur, but I *think* I may have had a sliver in that same finger a few months ago… so I wonder if that has something to do with it.

  • sarah says:

    Yuck! Ick! Ewwww! followed by, wow, I’ve never heard of that before. I’m glad you got it checked out.

    Also, point of order: do your hands actually get sweaty when you run in cold weather? Translation: are ya SURE you can’t run? I mean, it’s different from being in a stinky gym, right?

    • Alison says:

      Sarah, I honestly thought the exact same thing when he said “no running and no sweating”… I mean, my fingers really don’t get THAT sweaty when I run. Really.

  • So what is it exactly? How did it get there?

    • Alison says:

      It’s basically an infection deep within my finger! And we’ll never really know for sure how it got there, unless of course they unleash a nest of baby spiders on Thursday…? We’ll see.

  • Jane/you-know-who says:

    Where do I begin to stop laughing???? So glad that you are able to make funnies despite the pain. Carry on…

  • Cindy says:

    oh my gosh.

    So according to Mark’s Daily Apple you don’t have to run all the time to be a rockin’ fit mama so REST, get some slower paced walking (not raking leaves) and rest.


    a family friend of mine had a “blood blister” on her middle finger last year. IT GREW and GREW AND GREW.

    she went to doctor after doctor visit and had to have something done like yours. actually I think she had surgery.


    nope, no good indeed.

    bet it was those walnuts!

    take it easy Mama!

  • Crazy! Your post is hilarious in spite of how horrible it looks like that finger hurts. I hope your draining procedure and recovery go well.

  • Pat says:

    Baby spiders!!!! ARGH! Ask your MIL about them! Don’t think I’m sleeping tonite!

  • Jane/you-know-who says:

    Please be sure to update us on Thursday after the procedure!

  • jen heyyy remember me? says:

    that’s crazy. the first time I read this post I thought YOU tried to drain it yourself.

    so will you be posting pictures as this story progresses? :)

  • Holly says:

    haha. not about your finger. but about your witty, fabulous way of telling stories. you inspire me.

  • Sarah says:

    I just woke up with one Saturday and the doctor gave me clarithromycin. I sure hope it does something before Thursday because starting then I have a 25 hour camp over 4 days for guard (short story, the flags that are with the marching band but by ourselves). Not looking forward to it!