The time period of our lives before now will be referred to as “Before the Haircut”. The time period from this point forward will be referred to as “After the Haircut”.

A couple of weeks ago Maxine decided to cut her own hair.

Notice the missing bangs and partial mullet on the left side of her head?

When I asked her Why On Earth Would You Do Such a Thing? she responded that she wanted her hair to look like Ava’s American Girl doll “Elizabet”.

(That’s right, ElizaBET, as in no “h” – AKA “Kit Kittredge” to the rest of the American Girl Doll loving world.)

Umm, not exactly kid, but I think you’ve got potential.

My mom asked me if I was going to take her to the hairdresser to get her fixed up. At first I thought, “Yes, definitely.” But then enough people said to just let it grow out, you could hardly notice it, it sort of looked as though she had her hair tucked behind her ear, maybe she’ll start a rockin’ new half mullet hair style trend.

So I decided to leave it.

Apparently though, Ava had her own opinion on this issue and quite literally decided to take matters into her own hands. Yesterday while I was taking a shower (YES I REALLY WAS TAKING A SHOWER ZAK) Ava decided to play Barbie Hairstyler Magic with Maxine.

Except Maxine’s hair doesn’t grow back with the click of a mouse button like Barbie’s, does it? click click click CLICKCLICKCLICK

Nope, it doesn’t.

When Maxine walked into the room before I knew she’d been to Ava’s Magic Hair Emporium, she was sort of lurking in the shadows. I could tell something was “different”.

From the angle I was at it in my dimly lit bedroom, it looked as though her hair was very neatly slicked back. Cocking my head slowly to the right and then slowly to the left, rubbing my eyes and then squinting them, straining my neck forward like a mother snapping turtle ready to bite the off the head of her offspring, I asked her to come a little closer.

Ohnoyoudidnt.

My mouth dropped open and I said nothing. She immediately said “Ava did it!”

And I still said nothing. And my mouth still hung open. I raised my hand to cover the gaping hole in my head as to not catch any flies.

It was at this point that I requested Ava’s presence upstairs.

When I asked Ava Why On Earth Would You Do Such a Thing, she replied that she wanted to “even out” Maxine’s American Girl Doll styling attempts. When I said again Why On Earth Would You Do Such a Thing and the followed it with a What Did You Think I Would Say If You’d Asked Me First, I sent them both into their rooms to get their piggy banks before she could reply.

Girls, I think an impromptu trip to the hairdresser has just been added to today’s agenda.

Ava, being 6 years old and knowing better, was fined $6 to help pay for Maxine’s repair hair cut.

Maxine, being 3 years old and with the vocabulary of an adolescent, surely could have said “No Ava, please don’t cut my hair.” was fined $3 to also help pay for her repair hair cut.

Me, being 31 years old and foolishly thinking I could run off and leave my children unattended while I saw to my own personal hygiene like I have countless times BtH, was willing to pay up to $31 to pay for Maxine’s repair hair cut.

You know, for $40 I could have just bought them Barbie Magic and saved us all a lot of heartache.

The hairdresser said “This has been my challenge of the day!”

You know, I could say the exact same thing myself.

He also commented on the “very strong lines” of Ava’s attempts to fix Maxine’s ‘do, as he did his best to blend those “strong lines” in.

We returned from the hairdresser mostly unscathed,

but still feeling pretty defeated.

Oh well, onward an upward.

Life goes on, AtH.