The time period of our lives before now will be referred to as “Before the Haircut”. The time period from this point forward will be referred to as “After the Haircut”.
A couple of weeks ago Maxine decided to cut her own hair.
Notice the missing bangs and partial mullet on the left side of her head?
When I asked her Why On Earth Would You Do Such a Thing? she responded that she wanted her hair to look like Ava’s American Girl doll “Elizabet”.
Dear Scale,
I would like to take this time to thank you for having so much in common with a well known antagonist.
You have taunted me, pointed fingers at me, cackled at me and threatened to steal away my little dog. (OK maybe not that last one. But then again I don’t have a dog.)
But now, thanks to some splashy children and your inability to bear so much water weight due poor placement at our new house, you are dead.
At the end of last year I saw this hippie barefoot runner dude in the November issue of Runner’s World in their “What it Takes…” column.
In my continual quest to show my brood that food doesn’t grow on grocery store shelves, in conjunction with my desire to save money on produce whilst flying under the child labor law radar, we went strawberry picking this week.
I’m trying to get you to believe that I’m this do-awesome-stuff-feed-my-kids-right-awesomely-incredible homeschooling mom, but really it was about getting the hell out of the house for a few hours and finding something different to do that wasn’t going to end with me paying a bunch of late fees to the library.
Last year right around this time I found The Raw Foods Detox Diet by Natalia Rose. I was so excited and convinced by all the rawesome stuff in her book that I did a bunch of things she said to do, as well as the one big thing she said not to do; that is, “don’t dive head first into the raw food deep end.” Bah! I’ve been eating raw food since I was a baby! How hard can it be?
*jump*
*SPLASH*
*smash head*
*drown*
From my omnivorous days of yore, I think I miss meatloaf the most. I mean seriously now – how have I been getting by without eating a loaf of meat these past three and a half-ish years? It’s a meatless mystery for sure, and it’s time to do something about it!
That’s a joke in case you couldn’t tell. Actually I miss turkey subs the most. OK that’s a joke too. Who needs turkey when you’ve got lettuce, tomato, onion, red, green and banana peppers and (gasp!) mayo and provolone cheese on a sesame seed roll from Wegmans? I rest my case.
More Mama’s Weeds
