Treadmill Fantasies

December 11th, 2009 | Posted by Alison Spath in Morning Craziness

Last night I got to thinking about how much I enjoyed my treadmill run earlier that morning. It was actually really nice and I got a great run in without freezing my face off in the bitter cold wind and snow. This is slightly amusingly to me because I use to detest the dreadmill and felt like it was more of a torture device than a piece of workout equipment.

I think it might be possible that the treadmill is starting to grow on me.

Given our gym membership is about to expire at the end of the year, and we won’t be renewing because of the move, I’ve been trying to figure out what we’re going to do in terms of access to a fitness center after the first of the year. I don’t really need a gym in spring, summer and fall, but I do like having a place to go when I don’t feel like battling the elements and running in the dark.

One idea I’ve been toying with is becoming a hardcore yogi through February, running on the weekends and squeezing in weekday runs when I can. Another idea is buying a treadmill. We’ll have room for one in the new house and I’m sure that I would I use it. The problem is how much they cost and justifying spending that much money on something I’d really only use a couple days a week during the harshest winter months. Would we skip a YMCA membership if we bought a treadmill? Could investing in a treadmill actually save us money in health club costs down the road?

I’m not sure yet, but in the mean time I can still look to see how much a treadmill would cost and what we might be looking to spend.

As the wife of a penny pincher, I know I have a much better chance of convincing said penny pincher to buy the item of my desire if I buy it second hand. I’ve become accustomed to this and for most things have come to realize that you can find quality second hand items and save a lot of dough if you look around long enough. Especially on an item like a treadmill, where people buy them with high hopes and then only use it to hang clothes on.

With visions of used treadmills dancing through my head, I ventured to Craigslist before I went to bed.

I poked around and found a wide range of treadmills.

From the fancy:

MUST GO…First person takes it…price firm. Purchased two years ago and used only a few hours. Original price was $5995…selling for $1850. GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT!!!

Very Expensive

To the less than fancy:

30 Dollar

Treadmill that runs on human energy? Yeah, I think I have one of those already. It’s called The Road.

To the ones where I have to squint my eyes and cock my head to the right and then the left to figure out what I would be getting for my $250 bucks:

Professional grade treadmill in excellent condition for sale. Core Fitness Systems brand. 10 variable speed and incline. Digial readout. Heart rate monitor. Aerobic arm pulls for full-body training. It’s a beauty. Solid construction. Folds up for storage. It’s a steal!

Right Then Left

Digial readout? Wow that sounds really intriguing.

(Look at me, queen of spelling errors and typos throwing stones in this glass house that I built way up high here in my pedestal! Tick! Tick! Tick! CRASH!)

Well, at least now I know what we’re talking about here in terms of spending. Guess I’ll head to bed now… but wait? What’s this?


Gigs? What kind of “gigs” might we be talking about here? Did you catch that “adult” portion of the gigs section like I did? I’m a buy-(a treadmill)-curious female, let’s just see what we’ve got here.

Adult Gigs

Wow, a Guy Looking to Help Out Young Struggling Female? What a generous person this guy sounds like!

Are you 18 or 19 Years Old???
30 year old attractive guy looking for a very attractive girl 18-19 years old who would like to make some easy money. Looking to meet weekly. Must be open minded, attractive,
Please send your pic, age, area you live and description. Serious replies only.

Open Minded? I’d say. Easy money? I have my doubts on that one.

Oh no. Oh no no no.

Filthy Female Feet ??

I am going to be blunt..I am looking for a female dancer or stripper or any woman who could get there feet truly filthy. If you can do that then I am willing to worship your feet until they are clean. You can’t stick your feet in poop or anything. I am talking about a pair of feet that have danced all night at a wedding or club…or been barefoot on hardwood floors all day. When the arrangements are made…You will get a number to call anytime day or night and when you have sufficiently prepared your feet we will meet. If you are up to the filthy female foot challenge please drop me a note. Please attach a picture of you and your feet if possible. Would prefer the feet to be size 8 or less and attached to an attractive female.

At least he’s blunt – I mean let’s not monkey around here. I like someone who cuts right to the chase.

“Been barefoot on hardwood floors all day?” Well, the new house is full of hard wood floors… I’ll guess I have to see if this ad is still up next month. I typically prefer to wear sneakers around the house though, that might be a deal breaker.

And I did not sub in the word “poop” there either, FYI. I copied that ad in it’s entirety, copyright infringements be damned!

Accomodating Roommate Wanted

I am looking for an attractive, easy going, fun “accomodating” female roomate. I am single and live alone. My house has more room then I use. I have a large, unused bedroom in a seprate part of my home with its own bathroom and lots of storage space. I am in a nice, safe, suburban like area. Less then 10 minuted drive to downtown, on bus lines. You would live rent and utility free in what is essentially a one bedroom appartment in my home (shared kitchen). Two car driveway and garage.
I would expect help with household chores and personal accomodations.
If serious send pics and info about yourself. Feel free to ask questions.
No kids. Small pets will be considered. No drugs or alcohol in house.

Feel free to ask questions? Ummm yeah, I’ve got some questions alright. Like – what would your mother have to say about your new “roommate”?

House Keeper Needed

Looking for a regular housekeeper to clean my home on a regular basis. Prefer women willing to clean in sexy lingere or preferably topless. No experience necessary. Keep the job as long as you want…1 month or 1 year whatever works. Please send pic and contact information.

Zak, reading over my shoulder, agreed that he would like this too. I suggested he create an ad and put it on Craigslist.

Needless to say, I visited the treadmill at the gym this morning. I can’t say though that I didn’t fantasize about what it might be like to live in a rent free house with lots of storage space that is close to bus lines, slipping my worshiped size 8 feet into my Black Friday running sneaks after dancing all night in a club and then spent a little time cleaning topless – to finally take a break and de-stress for 40 minutes on my very own human powered machine.

Until then though, I guess I’ll just use the treadmill at the gym and will worry about finding a used one later.

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23 Responses

  • Leianna says:

    I’m thinking about buying a treadmill too instead of my gym membership. Craigslist looks like the best place to look for a semi-cheap one.

  • Cindy says:

    my treadmill has totally saved me from the inconsistencies life throws at me. It was pricey but worth every penny!

    What a crack up Craig’s list is? I have only seen it once before.

    But I was looking for Major League Gaming Tickets for my teenager…not work out equip! I think you should turn your basement into a gym~


  • Amy says:

    I’m so jealous of your size-8 feet. My size-9 boats, no matter how dirty, will just not satisfy filthy foot fetish man. At least I don’t have to steer clear of poop. Here I come, poop pile!

  • Sharon says:

    Mat and i always read those adds for a good laugh. One of my friend just bought a really really nice treadmil (Can plug in Jillian or something) for only $400 on Craigslist. Keep searching yours is out there.

  • Jennifer says:

    Those ads are hysterical!!! Boy, there are all kinds out there, aren’t there? Just to think there are people posting those ads and people responding. Eek! (haha)

    I vote you buy a treadmill. Like you said, you’ll have the room for it and it’s so convenient to have one. We’ve had our treadmill for 6 or 7 years now and have had periods of using it and periods of it just sitting and collecting dust. But, it works great and I love it!!

    Definitely look on Craigslist and your local paper, too. Especially with the new year coming up people are going to be looking for exercise equipment.

  • Katie says:

    Oh my! I read a personal ad in the Democrat and Chronicle once that was very similar to “Guy Looking to Help Out Young Struggling Female.” It mentioned that he would generously help a college gal out with tuition costs for spending some time as his ‘companion.’ Maybe it’s the same guy who realized the internet is better than the newspaper!

  • Erin says:

    My ex boyfriend and I used to read through these when we were bored for SHEER hilarity and entertainment. Oh god, were they hilarious. Good times. Good, nerdy, times.

  • Allyson says:

    Stay away from crazy CL! It will suck you in and never let go! When I had a 9-5 I couldn’t get enough of the crazy :)

  • Whit says:

    STOP! I have never laughed so hard in my life! This is hilarious. I love the crazies on Craigslist.

  • Mama Pea says:

    I wouldn’t buy a used treadmill. You can get really cheap ones at Costco. I think we bought our for about $800 at Costco five years ago. I haven’t regretted it for a second.

  • Nicole says:

    OMG! That “accommodating” roommate wanted ad was seriously freaky!! I forgot that you could put those ads on Craigs list!! Yikes! Good luck with your treadmill search! Just don’t get a cheap one. You WILL regret it!!

  • Julie says:

    Dude, craigs list is creep city. I wonder if anyone answers those ads…?
    I love the free stuff section. My ex used to live for free craigs list crap.

  • Erica says:

    hahahha ohhh craigs list. Hours of entertainment :) I bet you could find an awesome deal on a used one. So many people buy them and NEVER use them. Just make sure they let you test it out for a few minutes before purchasing!!

  • Oh my gosh, are these people *serious*???

    As for the treadmill, I hear ya on how nice it would be to have one in the house for those horribly, dark and sharp cold winter nights! I know so many people who own them and don’t use them other then for coat hangers, which drives me insane. Its not getting the love and attention I would totally give it…haha. 😀

    Hope you find one that’s affordable and *nice*!!

  • ha those craigslist ads are hilarious. i’m lucky i did manage to sell my nyc apt. AND find my l.a. one on it.

  • maria says:

    My mom has one of those treadmills without a motor and it SUCKS. I hate it! It’s awful!

  • Amy says:

    That was hilarious! People are crazy in what they’re looking for. Thanks for the laugh. :)

  • Just be honest, did you reply to the one that said “Young, asian, hispanic, or BURNETTS” ?!?!?!

  • This was fun! :)

    I would totally get a treadmill if I had the space… It just seems so convenient…

    Happy Weekend!

  • We made it!
    Treadmill? Well, ok. But please become a hardcore yogi for 2 mos and only run on the weekends…try that, please!!!! I’ll help :)

    The CL Adult section. Girl. I could tell you some stories.

    Treadmill? Wait til about March. Then all the rich people that bought them for Xmas will be selling them AND they’ll be mint condition. And/or preholiday sales for those that WANT to get in shape…may be able to save money now too…hmmm…

  • Liz says:

    2 words…..TOO FUNNY!!

  • Holly says:

    gah, craigslist can be so creepy! i like the guy that specifically asked for 18-19 year olds. dude, we are on to you. you aren’t that sneaky.

    love ya mama!

  • Pat says:

    Good Lord! I thought I was too old to be shocked!!! I’ve never been up on CraigsList and now I’m NEVER checking it out! I need a shower!!! EEEEWWWWWW!